ভবানন্দ গোস্বামী (Bhavananda Goswami) কর্তৃক তাঁর আমেরিকান শিষ্যদের উদ্দেশে প্রদত্ত ভাষণ, ব্রুকলিন (Brooklyn), নিউ ইয়র্ক, ২১ আগস্ট ১৯৮৫ (টাইপ করা প্রতিলিপি)

ame en
            ADDRESS BY BHAVANANDA GOSWAMI TO HIS AMERICAN DISCIPLES
                         Brooklyn, N.Y., August 21, 1985




     TI just came from an important meeti   ng at New Vrindavan of the GBC,We'v        North
                                        r disciples of  Srila    Prabh  upad a.           e
American temple presidents and senio    t the role, in  our    socie ty,  of   our    acar  yas.
been having a lot of discussion abou Ravindra-svarupa,  which    was  unan amou     sly  acce pted
There was one paper presented tsby and        r Codbrothe rs   who  were  there   .     Anyw ay,
by all of the temple presiden fact senio that  according to his [Ravindra-Sva           rupa's]
just briefly, it deal t  with  the                                  ya.   Afte  r   his   de-
                                 that there should be one
study, Prabhupada never meant tens                             acar
                                      ion on anyone's part     , but  we  set   up    the   society
parture, due to, not any ill-in                             l  acar yas,  and   those      zona  l
in a way that instead of one    world acarya we had zona           creat ed  a  suffo    catin g
acaryas were also GBC secretarour ies. Over the years it      has
                        many  of      Godbrothers, and also with that posi           tion of
mood in the hearts of                   it many, many     trapp   ings --opu  lence    s, adoration,
acarya, zonal acarya, it brought with
                                   rent  acaryas started experiencing difficulties.
distinction, profit--and our diffe
                                               1978, I was a very simple sannyasi.
     Just like, when I went to Australia n inkaran
When I got off the plane, I had my woode was it.   gs, I had my beads, I had two y,
                                  and that
sets of cotton cloth, a chaddar, sudd                  I was: very peaceful, heav
austere.. .but I was happ y. But                                         who had done
                                      enly from having been a sannyasi tha
                                                                service
                                ertainly no better or no more all            na lot of
some service for Prabhupada--c             had done--and with      of my frailties
other wonderful disciples of Prabhupada
                                     "pure devotee." You understan   d the point I'm
and shortcomings, suddenly I wasanda auste                                  most of
                                           re and of course having servedarran
making? From being a sannyasi                                       some
                                   austere--suddenly, somehow, by devo         gement,
my life in India--which was verythat           quote-unquote "pure      tee." Now of
I became a "pure devotee." Bysophy asI mean    as everyone else understood the in
course I understood the philo have to well
                                         see their guru as a pure devoteeedanda system
philosophy that the disciples it was some    thing new to us) we establish
our novice mentality (because ally, now that           all looking back at it, should
 of guru worship which was actu Prabhupada we're who was the world acarya. But we
 have been ultimately reserved for
 followed his example.
      So with the trappingof s all of that worship and with       the added responsibility
                                       felt it was Prabhupa
 (which we gladly took on because we cil--w                    da's  desire) taking
                                            ith that came (for anyway, I'm talki
                                                                  me                        ng
 disciples, travelling, giving counlf phys    ically, mentally and    spir  itua  lly,  to a
 personally) a wearing down of myse                guru and GBC man in ISKCON, fromI
 point where at a certain time ed severe probalems
                                in my  life  as
                                                         with my spiritual life and
 around 1980 to 1982 I experiencpast few years T'd overc     ome that, but there was
 fell down many times. In the        nal symptoms, that something       internally is wrong.
 still or still are symptoms, aexter it of enjoyment, an enjoy spirspir
                                                                  ing         it. Now I
 In other words, I developed spirpast           years but the enjo   ying         it was
 might not have fallen down in the thatfewthese      falldowns would    not  be  know  n, but
 still there. Of course I had hoped            se you can't keep a    secre   t from   Krsn a.
 in our Society there are no secrets, rbecau                         of  these    probl ems
 He knows everything. When some rumo came up regarding some     level, but many, many
  I denied it and it was overlooked, at least on a certain
  Godbrothers were not convinced.

     Anyway, everything was going along, and we came     to this meeting in New
                                            are very seriously concerned withent,the
Vrindavan and many of my Godbrothersthewhofutur
future of our ISKCON Society, with              e of the purity of our movem
 with the future of Godbrothers who theyseewant  to look up to, their GBC Godb rothers,
                                   they
 who they.want to look up to, but becau       in all of them, (and of course I'm not
                                                                                  but
pointing a finger  at anyone else        se I'm dealing mainly with you and me) nise
                                                     actually begging us to recog
 they could see so many flaws and they have been m".   Anyway, at this meeting it
 that ‘there is something wrong with the  "syste
 was presented to me that someone had testified that I had approached     them for
 sex in Vrindavan in 1980 and I went to Balav   anta and Rupanuga  and Tamal Krsna
 Prabhus and told them, yes that  was right ,  It was  true.  When all of the pres-
                                              course, they became concerned. I
 idents and senior men heard naturally, of rned
                                       conce
 don't feel in any way that they were or           or angered personally, that any-
 one wanted to "get" me, pull me down      anything like that. But their feelingm,
                                        there is something wrong with our syste
 was that this is another symptom thatLittl                                        e
 that this is going  to go on like 10       e 9 little8 little Indians, 7 littlGBC
                                          So the privilege committee of    the
 6 little 5 little Indians, like that.to inves        e breach of faith situations
 which is the body which is assigned was intigat  a lot of anxiety because I didn't
 like this, met. yesterday. Of cours eI                                 know
 know what was going to happen. I didn't know what to expect. TI didn't
                                          iousness, as I said to. Tamal when this            -
 what my future would be in Krsna consc
                                      of 'the children'? Of course I should 't.            have
 first came up, I said, "Tamal, whatI was     having my difficulties, but I didn
 thought of the children then when                       my children, I thought, "what of
 But then faced with the possibility of loosing
 the children?"
       Anyway, the privilege committee meetingrs went       on for some hours and their
 final result was that. one of the main facto          in the falldown of Bhavananda
 Coswami has been the acarya system thatthat  has been set up. They prefaced it by
  saying that. That doesn't excuse me,             doesn't excuse me. But they all see
  that is one of the main factors and I also       see that. But again I'm not saying
  that that's an excuse. So, in light of not.  that, their recommendation to me is
                                           IL
  that for an indefinite period of time memb         initiate, and that regarding my GBC
  activities I should continue as a GBC Tt will   er with full authority as a GBC man~,
  but I'm on probation. which means that at that      be watched to see that I reform
  myself. That was their decision. Alsole presidents       meeting were some presidents and
  sannyasis. The sannyasis and the temp                         also felt that that was a
                                         it was more than fair. Actually T shoul               d
  fair and judicious decision. I feel                   tion for me    and  out  of  some  respe ct
  have had my head chopped off, but out ofn affec           cting myse   lf on  me  becau se
   for me these men have now put the burde of corre   actua   lly thinkinganyway (see how
   they feel that I'll be able to do it.      I .was
  Krena fulfills your desire), I had been becom  ing so worn          down from excessive
  travelling and even before  I went to New Vrind avan and before this came up,
  because on. last Sunday I was seriously medi tating on taking some time off anyway
                                                                            I have
  from initiating. I have over 1000 disciples and they have requiredhasandrequi
                                            and life-energy and that            red
  given to them, willingly, all of my timebetwe  en the travelling and the counselling
  an inordinate amount of trave  lling and
                                                  brought
  and ‘the responsibility and the karma, itushasbreak      me to a point where I felt
  that I was on the verge of a total nervo            down or exhaustion. That was on
  Sunday. On Monday   it was confirmed.
                                                        my gone: Lakshmi Nrsimha Prabhu,
        So, I've been discussing with the leadersininAust
  Vicitravirya Prabhu, Romapada Maharaja--also             ralia T've contacted them:-

Balaram Prabhu in Melbourne, Naresh in the BBT, the others        I'll be speaking to
later--and everyone has been very kind, and  they   feel   that   if I take strong moves
to rectify myself--which means to become once  again    a  renun   ciate, a sannyasi-~
they want to continue working side by side with   me,   to   develop   Detroit and New
York. I also spoke to Vrajendralal--I  was  very  appre   hensiv  e  in speaking to
Vrajendralal because I knew that he had been  very   much    distur bed   by Jayatirtha,
but his reaction and his support was very,  very  wonde    rful  for  me.   I've spoken
with Ambarish Prabhu who is also totally suppo   rtive.
     So, I've given so much time of my life.         I have nothing to hide anymore.
I'm not a 100% pure devotee at all. I have many; many    flaws, inebrieties,
material desires, and I want to now work on making mysel   f whole again, so that
if any of you do want to continue in this relationshiIp,   I'll be able to give you
                                                                                 you.
strong and substantial direction. I can do it, but need now something from
                                                   ion. However, if you don't
I need your support, I need your love, your affect      or that I've cracked
feel that you can, if you feel that I've betrayed you,
your hearts, then I can understand that also, and I will have no qualms if you
looked elsewhere.

      In a way it's a great relief for me and it's a great purifi cation for me.
Everyone has to go through a test. This is my test:        er I want to be Krsna ~
                                                               wheth
 conscious, how dedicated am   I to  the miss   ionof    Srila   Prabhupada. That's what's
being asked by Krsna. So that's it, that's who I am.               I want to work in New York,
 tL want to work in Detroit, I want to work in. Australia, and      and of course I want to
 develop the project which Prabhupada gave me, Mayap         ur,        I feel that as I be-
‘come stronger--which means to develop a sensof       e detachment~-I've become very
 attached over the years. It's my fault and on anoth          er hand it's not my fault:
  it's the system's fault. Everything was thrust upondevot     us. I'11. take you back
 again: from being a devotee suddenly I was a "pure Suprem           ee." It doesn't happen
  like that. Bhaktisiddhanta of course said that the been very         e Lord burns up to the
  roots one's karma in the fire of ordeal. Krsna anythi  has                kind to me all
  these years. I've had’ some ordeals, but never               ng like this. This is the
                     of Krsna. If I have support from my godbrothers and from               my
  greatest kindness
  disciples I'm sure I can do it, and you will also         become stronger. The enjoying
  principle is there in everyone. We have to be so carefu            l on guard against this
  principle. If you want to go ahead, if you want to make             advancement, you have
  to get serious. If it takes me    and  my ordea  l   and  my  dilemm   a and my shame and
  my humiliation and my mortification in order to teach           you that lesson, then I
   gladly accept it, because. that's what guru meanstf    . Do you understand that? This
   is both for my own purification  and for yours.           this is what I have to go
   through and if you can benefit from it,    then   I   gladly   will go through this. T
  know especially for some of you this    is  espec    ially a  heavy    blow because of your
   involvment with Jayatirtha, who also   let  them    down.     I've   also   let you down, I
   don't deny it, and I'm very, very sorry.     But    I  feel   that  now   I  can start to make
   some real advancement in my spiritual    life.    Do   you  have   any   quest ions?

 Devotees:   We love you Srila Visnupada.
                                                                       pure.
 Bhavananda: ‘Well if you really love me then become pure, then become
 Devotee:    What are your immediate plans?

 Bhavananda: Well, I'm going to Australia on Friday because I have to meet with the

 devotees there also. Then we're having an international meetin g of GBC.
 temple presidents, regional secretar   and
                                       ies  senior Prabhu pada discip les, a
 very huge meeting in New Vrndavan on the 16th of Septem            from all
                                                            ber--coming
 over the world to see how we can restru cture  our societ y  so that everyone will
 become enlivened, not just a few men but   so that everyo ne  will fell that Prabhupada
 has built a house in which they can all  live  happ ily.  That  will be a very big
 event. So I'll be return       ing
                              then for the New York Rathyatra on the 14th and I'll
 be comming with all the senior leaof   de      rs
                                            Austr alia and New Zealand. Then we'll
 go to New Vrndavan, and I'll go to Detro it, then  I'll come back here to New York
 and then I'11 return to Australia--for how long   I'm not sure.

 Devotee: Srila Visnupadcan a, you explain a bit more how the present acarya
 system contributed to the falldown of Bhavananda Goswami, Can you explain that
 a little more?

  Bhavananda: It was one of the factors--by puttinggener        men into a position which was
  not actually intended by Prabhupada. That's the general                  feeling. Of course
  this is not an official thing, but it is now          the           al   feelin   g among GBC men
  all over the wrold that there's been a mistake,           that    by   puttin    g   men in a position
  of power, just like they say, "Power corrupts            and   absolu    te   power     corrupts
  absolutely." Of course it's not that everyone            has   fallen      down     like  me. But
- these men, my acarya godbrothers, have becom        e  more    and   more     out    of  touch    with
                                                     and   have   becom    e   attach   ed.     Tamal  Krsna
  the mood and feelings of their Godbrothers            Rames   vara   Mahar     aja   will    confir m   it--
  Maharaja will confirm this, I'LL confirm it,                    ed   to    positi    on,   to   influe nce,
  I can't speak for everyone. But we've become            attach
  to every  thing that has   come  with  that posit ion.      Prabhupada did not mean for
  there to be a world acarya and’ we don't reallyles to that
                                                           feel            he meant for there to
  be zonal acaryas. He meant all of his discip                     have     a right to initiate.
   So we want to correct that--that all of Prabhupada           's  discip     les will have a right
   to initiate with the blessings of the GBC and the            consen    t   of  the temple president--
  not that it would become anarchy. And we also have               to   set    up   a system which is
   going to accommodate all of you, because we'll told      Live   20,   30,     40   more years. If we
                                                                 me
   just take a hyperthetical example: Prabhupada told me twice. So saytwice      that    I should have
   50,000 disciples--that's his order to me, he Sa                                           I have 20,000
   disciples. Of those 20,000, 10,000 are men.                      y
                                                                I live      to   80,    which    is not that
   much longer, 35 years. So those 5,00or       0 10,000 men         are    all    going    to  be   50,55,60.
   Thousands of them are going to be sannyasis’sanny   because it's         very     clear    in   Prabh upada's
                                                            asa,   must.       So    you   are   going   to
   books that when you turn 50 you must take                                and    by   the  Lord'   s mercy
   have maybe of those 10,000, 5,000 sanyasis. those     Then I die,
   I hope ‘I'll go  back  with  Prabhu pada.   Now,            men are going to want to initiate.
   They're certainly senior, they've been: devotefor     es for 40 years. We had devotees who
   were initiating when they had been devot      ees          on          ly. So..those men are
                                                                     8 years
    also going to want to initiate. How       is it going to       work?      . Are they. going to fight
    among each other for that, which can happen, which            would      be   devastating to the
                                                  lity as the GBC and as the senior Prabhu                    pada
    Society? Therefore it is our responsibi                to purif    y   ourse    lves   indiv   idua lly,
    disciples, it's all of our responsibility now   by   which    everyone can be accommodated
    to purify our Socie  ty and   set up  a system
    for thousands of years to come. Tt's not that            any one person.          is going to be the
    world guru. There is only one world guru, jagat guru, jagat , a, and that's    acary
    Srila Prabhupada.
         So this meeting in September should be very momentus.                    It will be very heavy,
    it will be very momentus, and I think that many wonderful thingywill come from it.

Tt will deal with principle and it will deal with pract ical application. It
will deal with Vyasasanas, it will deal with gurup uja.  If you have twenty gurus
in a temple will you have twenty Vyasasanas?iple,          le? It will deal with
                                              . Is it possib
so many things, both practical and in princ wayphilos     ophical. We shouldn't
have any fear. Of course you can't feel that        about  me, put it's natural
                                                     can  still
you feel your guru is.the greatest. But. your guru if he doesn   be the greatest
even if he doesn't sit on the biggest seat, and even                 't drive the bigg-
est car, and even if he doesn't have the biggest   this  or that.   That's  not the
indication of the greatness of your guru. The relatio   nship   is not  so supe rficial.
Devotee:    Do you feel you've hurt our relationship?

Bhavananda: Yes, I definately have. Because whatwill  has gone into your ear tonight
has scarred you, whether you know it or not.be It          leave a scar. Maybe a big
scar maybe a little scar but the scar will     there   ,  and   for that I am sorry. But
it's also your maturing. I have to now think ofyoumysel     f.   I've thought of you all
for years and some of you haven't helped me as         could    have  in terms of your
surrender. Anyway that's neither here nor there.      But    I  have  to   think of myself
now, I have to cleanse myself. Th       part of clean
                                     is is               sing   mysel  f.    I don't want
you to think I'm anything more than what I am.    ‘You   may   love  me   for  what I am and
I love all of you, even the most fallen of you. Ito do,        But  let   our   relationship
be based on that--on this mutual love and desire         assis  t  each   other.      I need
                                                                This  is    the  icing   on
some assistance. I'm tired. I'm very, very exhausted.     back.     But   actua   lly  I feel
                                               nanda's
the cake. This’is the straw that broke Bhavaneed
less exhausted now than.I did on Sunday. I          time for      being   more   medit   ative.

Devotee: Srila Visnupada what would be the thing to do for your aspiring disciples?
                                                   my aspiring disciple after what
 Bhavananda: ‘That's up to you. If you're still. have  to wait. I feel that T'm not
 I've said tonight sinks into your head, you'll presidents
 going to ask to initiate, but when the temple               and leaders in the gones
 that I'm working for, when they feel confident then they can ask thewayGBC,     and
if the GBC gives permission then I'll initiate. fromI feel that's  the      it   should
 work. So if you still want to take initiatio              n you're
                                                       me then          going  to  have
                                                     I can tell  you is  that  I  do
to wait, maybe a year, maybe more. But one thingthat    I can do-it, that I ean be-
 feel the GBC has given me  some- -they have faith
 come   strong.


 Devotee:    What is that assistance, what can we do?
 Bhavananda: Become Krsna conscious. You know the lecture     s given. You don't.
                                                           I've
                                            ms but I can't, especially not at
 have any problems. Of course you have proble
 this time, I can't deal with those problems. ‘That  I was finding on my last trip
                                                                             every
               a June. I've never had this before in Australia. Now I seeproble
 to Australiin                                                      their        ms
                                                unable to cope with
 disciple individually. I did, but IL was just ial       s in my heart  and they were
 and the real. reason was that there were mater desire              and  apply my
 causing conflict... I wasn't pure that I could really apply myself
 intelligence to trying to give direction.         So now I need that time.
                                                                                 s?
 Devotee: Does that mean that we shouldn't ask to speak with you or write letter
 Bhavananda; You can certainly write letters. I aappre ciate it. You can write
 me letters. But the real help is, because it's transcendental thing, that the

support comes from the purity. So as you become, all of you, very serious to
become pure, then that will save me. That's Like the story of, who was it
that gave his youth to his father? Yayati--it's kind of like that. If you
really want to help me, then you become very pure and that will give me great
support.


Devotee:    Srila Visnupada, we love you and we'll never leave you.

Bhavananda:     Thankyou.   Don't ever leave the Society.   That's the main thing.
Come what may, don't ever leave the Society, because if you love me then you
have to love the Society. Don't ever leave it. It is the salvation of this
world. Also don't let yourselves get into a postion like me where I have to
be taught such a lesson in order to appreciate the ability to be able to do
service. When I thought--these things went through my mind while I was waiting
for the privilege committee decision--that all my service would be taken from me
(they would have that right), then that. service became very, very important.
Without it we have no life. So if you want to love me, that's nice. This is
how you have to show it. In every temple thatI work in, I've always preached     |
that the leaders are fully capable of taking shelter of, and fully competant cto
give you instructions in your spiritual life. Not that  TI won't give you in-
struction, but they're also fully competant. I've always preached that. We
should have that faith also. They are wonderful men: Muralivadaka, Lakshmi.
Nrsimha, Vrajendralal, Vipramukya Maharaja, Romapada Maharaja--they're wonderful
men. If you pray for me--because you can do that, you pray to Prabhupada to help
me for my speedy recovery. There's one thing I know, and I'm not bragging when
I say this: I am very, very close to Prabhupada, I am very dear to Prabhupada.
And I realised that when I saw how the privilege committee and how everyone has
been dealing with me. They are dealing with me I’m sure just as Prabhupada would da
have dealt with me--dealing with me in a very loving way. So you pray to Prabhupa
for me to forgive me. Then it should be alright. What do you think? It's pretty
shocking. I'm fallible, but we're all fallible, and our infallibility is when we
work together cooperatively. Therefore Prabhupada always said work together co-
operatively with love and trust, and working together cooperatively with love and
trust overcomes all of the defects.

Devotee: You've often said that the greatest quality of the Vaisnava is his
quality of forgiveness.

Bhavananda:     $0 I'm asking. you to forgive me.

Devotee: Do you forgive yourself Visnupada?
Bhavananda:     Not yet, I don't think I ever will as long as that can be used as an
 incentive to keep me fixed.

Devotee:      Does this change our relationship with you at all?

 Bhavananda:     That's up to you.     If you cannot see fit to continue to accept me
 as your guru, you have every right to reject me and you can seek someone else for
 initiation if you want.

 Devotee:     Can you reject us too?

                                ~J~




Bhavananda:'   I could-never reject you.. But you have every right [to reject me]
Scripturally,
          you have a right.           It will be interesting to see what happens.       If
we make it it will be all-that much sweeter.
                                           .

Devotee: -In:the Bhagavat Gita it states that even if one commits the most heinous
activity, he is to be considered saintly.

Bhavananda:  Yes that's true.  Even he commits the most heinous activity, which
I've done, he should not be criticised.   But I can't hide behind that because
I'm a guru.  I can't hide behind that.   But I can use that [verse] that if he
continues in devotional service he will very quickly become rectified.         That's
my hope.  That's Krsna's statement, therefore I know it's true.

Devotee:   The relationship between the disciple and the spiritual master is
eternal,


Bhavananda:    Thankyou.   Even Lord Brahma had a problem, what to speak of me.
I'm feeling enthusiastic
                     and I'm feeling more peaceful than I've felt in years--
you can imagine--the anxiety of the disguise.       0O.K.?   Thankyou. Hare Krsna.