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Address by Bhavananda Goswami to his American disciples, Brooklyn, N.Y., 21 August 1985 (typed transcript)
Bhavananda Goswami (transcript; transcriber not named)
Typed transcript (7 pages) of the address Bhavananda Goswami gave his American disciples in Brooklyn on 21 August 1985, after a meeting at New Vrindaban of the GBC, North American temple presidents and senior disciples of Prabhupada. He says that "from around 1980 to 1982 I experienced severe problems with my spiritual life and I fell down many times", that when rumours arose "I denied it", and that he confirmed to GBC members that testimony that he "had approached them for sex in Vrindavan in 1980" was true. He reports that the GBC's privilege committee recommended that he not initiate for an indefinite period and remain a GBC member "on probation", and asks his disciples to forgive him. The transcriber is not named. Copy as published in Nori Muster's Betrayal Files; nothing is redacted.
Address by Bhavananda Goswami to his American disciples, Brooklyn, N.Y., 21 August 1985 (typed transcript)
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ADDRESS BY BHAVANANDA GOSWAMI TO HIS AMERICAN DISCIPLES
Brooklyn, N.Y., August 21, 1985
TI just came from an important meeti ng at New Vrindavan of the GBC,We'v North
r disciples of Srila Prabh upad a. e
American temple presidents and senio t the role, in our socie ty, of our acar yas.
been having a lot of discussion abou Ravindra-svarupa, which was unan amou sly acce pted
There was one paper presented tsby and r Codbrothe rs who were there . Anyw ay,
by all of the temple presiden fact senio that according to his [Ravindra-Sva rupa's]
just briefly, it deal t with the ya. Afte r his de-
that there should be one
study, Prabhupada never meant tens acar
ion on anyone's part , but we set up the society
parture, due to, not any ill-in l acar yas, and those zona l
in a way that instead of one world acarya we had zona creat ed a suffo catin g
acaryas were also GBC secretarour ies. Over the years it has
many of Godbrothers, and also with that posi tion of
mood in the hearts of it many, many trapp ings --opu lence s, adoration,
acarya, zonal acarya, it brought with
rent acaryas started experiencing difficulties.
distinction, profit--and our diffe
1978, I was a very simple sannyasi.
Just like, when I went to Australia n inkaran
When I got off the plane, I had my woode was it. gs, I had my beads, I had two y,
and that
sets of cotton cloth, a chaddar, sudd I was: very peaceful, heav
austere.. .but I was happ y. But who had done
enly from having been a sannyasi tha
service
ertainly no better or no more all na lot of
some service for Prabhupada--c had done--and with of my frailties
other wonderful disciples of Prabhupada
"pure devotee." You understan d the point I'm
and shortcomings, suddenly I wasanda auste most of
re and of course having servedarran
making? From being a sannyasi some
austere--suddenly, somehow, by devo gement,
my life in India--which was verythat quote-unquote "pure tee." Now of
I became a "pure devotee." Bysophy asI mean as everyone else understood the in
course I understood the philo have to well
see their guru as a pure devoteeedanda system
philosophy that the disciples it was some thing new to us) we establish
our novice mentality (because ally, now that all looking back at it, should
of guru worship which was actu Prabhupada we're who was the world acarya. But we
have been ultimately reserved for
followed his example.
So with the trappingof s all of that worship and with the added responsibility
felt it was Prabhupa
(which we gladly took on because we cil--w da's desire) taking
ith that came (for anyway, I'm talki
me ng
disciples, travelling, giving counlf phys ically, mentally and spir itua lly, to a
personally) a wearing down of myse guru and GBC man in ISKCON, fromI
point where at a certain time ed severe probalems
in my life as
with my spiritual life and
around 1980 to 1982 I experiencpast few years T'd overc ome that, but there was
fell down many times. In the nal symptoms, that something internally is wrong.
still or still are symptoms, aexter it of enjoyment, an enjoy spirspir
ing it. Now I
In other words, I developed spirpast years but the enjo ying it was
might not have fallen down in the thatfewthese falldowns would not be know n, but
still there. Of course I had hoped se you can't keep a secre t from Krsn a.
in our Society there are no secrets, rbecau of these probl ems
He knows everything. When some rumo came up regarding some level, but many, many
I denied it and it was overlooked, at least on a certain
Godbrothers were not convinced.
Anyway, everything was going along, and we came to this meeting in New
are very seriously concerned withent,the
Vrindavan and many of my Godbrothersthewhofutur
future of our ISKCON Society, with e of the purity of our movem
with the future of Godbrothers who theyseewant to look up to, their GBC Godb rothers,
they
who they.want to look up to, but becau in all of them, (and of course I'm not
but
pointing a finger at anyone else se I'm dealing mainly with you and me) nise
actually begging us to recog
they could see so many flaws and they have been m". Anyway, at this meeting it
that ‘there is something wrong with the "syste
was presented to me that someone had testified that I had approached them for
sex in Vrindavan in 1980 and I went to Balav anta and Rupanuga and Tamal Krsna
Prabhus and told them, yes that was right , It was true. When all of the pres-
course, they became concerned. I
idents and senior men heard naturally, of rned
conce
don't feel in any way that they were or or angered personally, that any-
one wanted to "get" me, pull me down anything like that. But their feelingm,
there is something wrong with our syste
was that this is another symptom thatLittl e
that this is going to go on like 10 e 9 little8 little Indians, 7 littlGBC
So the privilege committee of the
6 little 5 little Indians, like that.to inves e breach of faith situations
which is the body which is assigned was intigat a lot of anxiety because I didn't
like this, met. yesterday. Of cours eI know
know what was going to happen. I didn't know what to expect. TI didn't
iousness, as I said to. Tamal when this -
what my future would be in Krsna consc
of 'the children'? Of course I should 't. have
first came up, I said, "Tamal, whatI was having my difficulties, but I didn
thought of the children then when my children, I thought, "what of
But then faced with the possibility of loosing
the children?"
Anyway, the privilege committee meetingrs went on for some hours and their
final result was that. one of the main facto in the falldown of Bhavananda
Coswami has been the acarya system thatthat has been set up. They prefaced it by
saying that. That doesn't excuse me, doesn't excuse me. But they all see
that is one of the main factors and I also see that. But again I'm not saying
that that's an excuse. So, in light of not. that, their recommendation to me is
IL
that for an indefinite period of time memb initiate, and that regarding my GBC
activities I should continue as a GBC Tt will er with full authority as a GBC man~,
but I'm on probation. which means that at that be watched to see that I reform
myself. That was their decision. Alsole presidents meeting were some presidents and
sannyasis. The sannyasis and the temp also felt that that was a
it was more than fair. Actually T shoul d
fair and judicious decision. I feel tion for me and out of some respe ct
have had my head chopped off, but out ofn affec cting myse lf on me becau se
for me these men have now put the burde of corre actua lly thinkinganyway (see how
they feel that I'll be able to do it. I .was
Krena fulfills your desire), I had been becom ing so worn down from excessive
travelling and even before I went to New Vrind avan and before this came up,
because on. last Sunday I was seriously medi tating on taking some time off anyway
I have
from initiating. I have over 1000 disciples and they have requiredhasandrequi
and life-energy and that red
given to them, willingly, all of my timebetwe en the travelling and the counselling
an inordinate amount of trave lling and
brought
and ‘the responsibility and the karma, itushasbreak me to a point where I felt
that I was on the verge of a total nervo down or exhaustion. That was on
Sunday. On Monday it was confirmed.
my gone: Lakshmi Nrsimha Prabhu,
So, I've been discussing with the leadersininAust
Vicitravirya Prabhu, Romapada Maharaja--also ralia T've contacted them:-
Balaram Prabhu in Melbourne, Naresh in the BBT, the others I'll be speaking to
later--and everyone has been very kind, and they feel that if I take strong moves
to rectify myself--which means to become once again a renun ciate, a sannyasi-~
they want to continue working side by side with me, to develop Detroit and New
York. I also spoke to Vrajendralal--I was very appre hensiv e in speaking to
Vrajendralal because I knew that he had been very much distur bed by Jayatirtha,
but his reaction and his support was very, very wonde rful for me. I've spoken
with Ambarish Prabhu who is also totally suppo rtive.
So, I've given so much time of my life. I have nothing to hide anymore.
I'm not a 100% pure devotee at all. I have many; many flaws, inebrieties,
material desires, and I want to now work on making mysel f whole again, so that
if any of you do want to continue in this relationshiIp, I'll be able to give you
you.
strong and substantial direction. I can do it, but need now something from
ion. However, if you don't
I need your support, I need your love, your affect or that I've cracked
feel that you can, if you feel that I've betrayed you,
your hearts, then I can understand that also, and I will have no qualms if you
looked elsewhere.
In a way it's a great relief for me and it's a great purifi cation for me.
Everyone has to go through a test. This is my test: er I want to be Krsna ~
wheth
conscious, how dedicated am I to the miss ionof Srila Prabhupada. That's what's
being asked by Krsna. So that's it, that's who I am. I want to work in New York,
tL want to work in Detroit, I want to work in. Australia, and and of course I want to
develop the project which Prabhupada gave me, Mayap ur, I feel that as I be-
‘come stronger--which means to develop a sensof e detachment~-I've become very
attached over the years. It's my fault and on anoth er hand it's not my fault:
it's the system's fault. Everything was thrust upondevot us. I'11. take you back
again: from being a devotee suddenly I was a "pure Suprem ee." It doesn't happen
like that. Bhaktisiddhanta of course said that the been very e Lord burns up to the
roots one's karma in the fire of ordeal. Krsna anythi has kind to me all
these years. I've had’ some ordeals, but never ng like this. This is the
of Krsna. If I have support from my godbrothers and from my
greatest kindness
disciples I'm sure I can do it, and you will also become stronger. The enjoying
principle is there in everyone. We have to be so carefu l on guard against this
principle. If you want to go ahead, if you want to make advancement, you have
to get serious. If it takes me and my ordea l and my dilemm a and my shame and
my humiliation and my mortification in order to teach you that lesson, then I
gladly accept it, because. that's what guru meanstf . Do you understand that? This
is both for my own purification and for yours. this is what I have to go
through and if you can benefit from it, then I gladly will go through this. T
know especially for some of you this is espec ially a heavy blow because of your
involvment with Jayatirtha, who also let them down. I've also let you down, I
don't deny it, and I'm very, very sorry. But I feel that now I can start to make
some real advancement in my spiritual life. Do you have any quest ions?
Devotees: We love you Srila Visnupada.
pure.
Bhavananda: ‘Well if you really love me then become pure, then become
Devotee: What are your immediate plans?
Bhavananda: Well, I'm going to Australia on Friday because I have to meet with the
devotees there also. Then we're having an international meetin g of GBC.
temple presidents, regional secretar and
ies senior Prabhu pada discip les, a
very huge meeting in New Vrndavan on the 16th of Septem from all
ber--coming
over the world to see how we can restru cture our societ y so that everyone will
become enlivened, not just a few men but so that everyo ne will fell that Prabhupada
has built a house in which they can all live happ ily. That will be a very big
event. So I'll be return ing
then for the New York Rathyatra on the 14th and I'll
be comming with all the senior leaof de rs
Austr alia and New Zealand. Then we'll
go to New Vrndavan, and I'll go to Detro it, then I'll come back here to New York
and then I'11 return to Australia--for how long I'm not sure.
Devotee: Srila Visnupadcan a, you explain a bit more how the present acarya
system contributed to the falldown of Bhavananda Goswami, Can you explain that
a little more?
Bhavananda: It was one of the factors--by puttinggener men into a position which was
not actually intended by Prabhupada. That's the general feeling. Of course
this is not an official thing, but it is now the al feelin g among GBC men
all over the wrold that there's been a mistake, that by puttin g men in a position
of power, just like they say, "Power corrupts and absolu te power corrupts
absolutely." Of course it's not that everyone has fallen down like me. But
- these men, my acarya godbrothers, have becom e more and more out of touch with
and have becom e attach ed. Tamal Krsna
the mood and feelings of their Godbrothers Rames vara Mahar aja will confir m it--
Maharaja will confirm this, I'LL confirm it, ed to positi on, to influe nce,
I can't speak for everyone. But we've become attach
to every thing that has come with that posit ion. Prabhupada did not mean for
there to be a world acarya and’ we don't reallyles to that
feel he meant for there to
be zonal acaryas. He meant all of his discip have a right to initiate.
So we want to correct that--that all of Prabhupada 's discip les will have a right
to initiate with the blessings of the GBC and the consen t of the temple president--
not that it would become anarchy. And we also have to set up a system which is
going to accommodate all of you, because we'll told Live 20, 30, 40 more years. If we
me
just take a hyperthetical example: Prabhupada told me twice. So saytwice that I should have
50,000 disciples--that's his order to me, he Sa I have 20,000
disciples. Of those 20,000, 10,000 are men. y
I live to 80, which is not that
much longer, 35 years. So those 5,00or 0 10,000 men are all going to be 50,55,60.
Thousands of them are going to be sannyasis’sanny because it's very clear in Prabh upada's
asa, must. So you are going to
books that when you turn 50 you must take and by the Lord' s mercy
have maybe of those 10,000, 5,000 sanyasis. those Then I die,
I hope ‘I'll go back with Prabhu pada. Now, men are going to want to initiate.
They're certainly senior, they've been: devotefor es for 40 years. We had devotees who
were initiating when they had been devot ees on ly. So..those men are
8 years
also going to want to initiate. How is it going to work? . Are they. going to fight
among each other for that, which can happen, which would be devastating to the
lity as the GBC and as the senior Prabhu pada
Society? Therefore it is our responsibi to purif y ourse lves indiv idua lly,
disciples, it's all of our responsibility now by which everyone can be accommodated
to purify our Socie ty and set up a system
for thousands of years to come. Tt's not that any one person. is going to be the
world guru. There is only one world guru, jagat guru, jagat , a, and that's acary
Srila Prabhupada.
So this meeting in September should be very momentus. It will be very heavy,
it will be very momentus, and I think that many wonderful thingywill come from it.
Tt will deal with principle and it will deal with pract ical application. It
will deal with Vyasasanas, it will deal with gurup uja. If you have twenty gurus
in a temple will you have twenty Vyasasanas?iple, le? It will deal with
. Is it possib
so many things, both practical and in princ wayphilos ophical. We shouldn't
have any fear. Of course you can't feel that about me, put it's natural
can still
you feel your guru is.the greatest. But. your guru if he doesn be the greatest
even if he doesn't sit on the biggest seat, and even 't drive the bigg-
est car, and even if he doesn't have the biggest this or that. That's not the
indication of the greatness of your guru. The relatio nship is not so supe rficial.
Devotee: Do you feel you've hurt our relationship?
Bhavananda: Yes, I definately have. Because whatwill has gone into your ear tonight
has scarred you, whether you know it or not.be It leave a scar. Maybe a big
scar maybe a little scar but the scar will there , and for that I am sorry. But
it's also your maturing. I have to now think ofyoumysel f. I've thought of you all
for years and some of you haven't helped me as could have in terms of your
surrender. Anyway that's neither here nor there. But I have to think of myself
now, I have to cleanse myself. Th part of clean
is is sing mysel f. I don't want
you to think I'm anything more than what I am. ‘You may love me for what I am and
I love all of you, even the most fallen of you. Ito do, But let our relationship
be based on that--on this mutual love and desire assis t each other. I need
This is the icing on
some assistance. I'm tired. I'm very, very exhausted. back. But actua lly I feel
nanda's
the cake. This’is the straw that broke Bhavaneed
less exhausted now than.I did on Sunday. I time for being more medit ative.
Devotee: Srila Visnupada what would be the thing to do for your aspiring disciples?
my aspiring disciple after what
Bhavananda: ‘That's up to you. If you're still. have to wait. I feel that T'm not
I've said tonight sinks into your head, you'll presidents
going to ask to initiate, but when the temple and leaders in the gones
that I'm working for, when they feel confident then they can ask thewayGBC, and
if the GBC gives permission then I'll initiate. fromI feel that's the it should
work. So if you still want to take initiatio n you're
me then going to have
I can tell you is that I do
to wait, maybe a year, maybe more. But one thingthat I can do-it, that I ean be-
feel the GBC has given me some- -they have faith
come strong.
Devotee: What is that assistance, what can we do?
Bhavananda: Become Krsna conscious. You know the lecture s given. You don't.
I've
ms but I can't, especially not at
have any problems. Of course you have proble
this time, I can't deal with those problems. ‘That I was finding on my last trip
every
a June. I've never had this before in Australia. Now I seeproble
to Australiin their ms
unable to cope with
disciple individually. I did, but IL was just ial s in my heart and they were
and the real. reason was that there were mater desire and apply my
causing conflict... I wasn't pure that I could really apply myself
intelligence to trying to give direction. So now I need that time.
s?
Devotee: Does that mean that we shouldn't ask to speak with you or write letter
Bhavananda; You can certainly write letters. I aappre ciate it. You can write
me letters. But the real help is, because it's transcendental thing, that the
support comes from the purity. So as you become, all of you, very serious to
become pure, then that will save me. That's Like the story of, who was it
that gave his youth to his father? Yayati--it's kind of like that. If you
really want to help me, then you become very pure and that will give me great
support.
Devotee: Srila Visnupada, we love you and we'll never leave you.
Bhavananda: Thankyou. Don't ever leave the Society. That's the main thing.
Come what may, don't ever leave the Society, because if you love me then you
have to love the Society. Don't ever leave it. It is the salvation of this
world. Also don't let yourselves get into a postion like me where I have to
be taught such a lesson in order to appreciate the ability to be able to do
service. When I thought--these things went through my mind while I was waiting
for the privilege committee decision--that all my service would be taken from me
(they would have that right), then that. service became very, very important.
Without it we have no life. So if you want to love me, that's nice. This is
how you have to show it. In every temple thatI work in, I've always preached |
that the leaders are fully capable of taking shelter of, and fully competant cto
give you instructions in your spiritual life. Not that TI won't give you in-
struction, but they're also fully competant. I've always preached that. We
should have that faith also. They are wonderful men: Muralivadaka, Lakshmi.
Nrsimha, Vrajendralal, Vipramukya Maharaja, Romapada Maharaja--they're wonderful
men. If you pray for me--because you can do that, you pray to Prabhupada to help
me for my speedy recovery. There's one thing I know, and I'm not bragging when
I say this: I am very, very close to Prabhupada, I am very dear to Prabhupada.
And I realised that when I saw how the privilege committee and how everyone has
been dealing with me. They are dealing with me I’m sure just as Prabhupada would da
have dealt with me--dealing with me in a very loving way. So you pray to Prabhupa
for me to forgive me. Then it should be alright. What do you think? It's pretty
shocking. I'm fallible, but we're all fallible, and our infallibility is when we
work together cooperatively. Therefore Prabhupada always said work together co-
operatively with love and trust, and working together cooperatively with love and
trust overcomes all of the defects.
Devotee: You've often said that the greatest quality of the Vaisnava is his
quality of forgiveness.
Bhavananda: $0 I'm asking. you to forgive me.
Devotee: Do you forgive yourself Visnupada?
Bhavananda: Not yet, I don't think I ever will as long as that can be used as an
incentive to keep me fixed.
Devotee: Does this change our relationship with you at all?
Bhavananda: That's up to you. If you cannot see fit to continue to accept me
as your guru, you have every right to reject me and you can seek someone else for
initiation if you want.
Devotee: Can you reject us too?
~J~
Bhavananda:' I could-never reject you.. But you have every right [to reject me]
Scripturally,
you have a right. It will be interesting to see what happens. If
we make it it will be all-that much sweeter.
.
Devotee: -In:the Bhagavat Gita it states that even if one commits the most heinous
activity, he is to be considered saintly.
Bhavananda: Yes that's true. Even he commits the most heinous activity, which
I've done, he should not be criticised. But I can't hide behind that because
I'm a guru. I can't hide behind that. But I can use that [verse] that if he
continues in devotional service he will very quickly become rectified. That's
my hope. That's Krsna's statement, therefore I know it's true.
Devotee: The relationship between the disciple and the spiritual master is
eternal,
Bhavananda: Thankyou. Even Lord Brahma had a problem, what to speak of me.
I'm feeling enthusiastic
and I'm feeling more peaceful than I've felt in years--
you can imagine--the anxiety of the disguise. 0O.K.? Thankyou. Hare Krsna.Cited in
1- AccusationSexual activity in breach of sannyasa vows; removal as guru and GBC memberBhavananda